I recently had a case of temporary amnesia. Yes, really. And let me tell you, amnesia isn�t what they promise on TV; it�s not all wacky misunderstandings and solving your own murder. Mostly it�s a lot of sitting around and thinking, �Duh��

It started at the office like a headache. I noticed a spot in my vision, like I had stared at the sun too long. I tried to work through it, composing a document on the computer. But it was like trying to read in the car. The headache got worse, so I looked for simpler task. I started loading some software on a computer in my boss�s cubicle. I thought that would be better, as it was a lot of �Click Next� and wait. Then the waits on my part started getting longer. I was really feeling nauseous.

I went the restroom and on the way back I noticed a friend�s nameplate on his cubicle. I read it, but it didn�t really mean anything to me. �No matter, I know who it is, it�s.. um.. well, I could think of it if I didn�t have this headache.�

When I got back to where I was working, I ran into the department�s administrative assistant, Diane. She said that Marco had to go home early.

Now, that didn�t mean anything to me. After all, I didn�t know any �Marco�, so why should I care? But, still, if Diane was telling me, it must be important, so I asked her to repeat it. Three times. Finally I couldn�t bluff anymore, and asked �Who�s Marco?� Well, it turns out that Marco is my boss! In whose cubicle I had been working for the last 2 hours.

Diane asked if I felt alright. She knew I had a headache, and looked concerned. I sat down and said, �I�m having trouble.. concentrating.� Diane said that there was no sign of personality in my face, and called Moe The Girl to come get me.

Then the questions started. �Do you have diabetes?� asked Diane.

�Maybe. What�s diabetes?� I asked. Diane looked more scared. I pressed her for more. �No, really, what�s diabetes?� It seemed like something that I might have, something that could cause what was happening. I just couldn�t remember what it was, because of this damn headache!

�Who�s the president?�

�Clinton?� Wrong.

�Who am I?�

�Um, D�� Not good enough.

�Where are you?�

�At work.� Score! I�m coming back!

�What�s Moe The Girl�s last name?�

�_� Oooo, strike three.

And I�m out of there and to the hospital. Moe The Girl takes me, but I have to tell her the way. Even an amnesiac has a better sense of direction than that woman.

Four hours and a battery of tests later, I�m all better. Actually, I started coming out of it on the ride to the hospital, but they gave me a CAT scan anyway. The diagnosis? Transient Global Amnesia. It affects about 1 in 100,000, and rarely reoccurs. You forget recent events and people, but not metaknowledge. I knew I should know what diabetes was, but didn�t. You also maintain your sense of direction and what is socially acceptable. So it doesn�t account for Laura Flynn Boyle at the Golden Globes.

The next day, Diane asks me all about it. �You sure were mad that you didn�t know what diabetes was�, she said.

�No, I was mad because you wouldn�t tell me.�