Whew. Things have finally settled down after the wedding weekend. I might finally be caught up on my sleep.

When I left you last, I was on my way to the rehearsal. Every wedding has a hitch… something that goes wrong, and for this wedding it was at the rehearsal. The priest didn’t show up. Except it wasn’t that bad because the wedding coordinator and the videographer blocked out the entire ceremony. If I ever get married, I’m just going to consult a videographer. They’ve been to so many weddings that they know what needs to be done, why pay a separate consultant?

I enjoyed that, for a Catholic church, the giant crucifix wasn’t particularly gory. Jesus was actually coming off of the cross, like he was about to dive into the audience and crowd-surf. It was much better than the usual agonized, bleeding-from-the–head-and-hands Jesus you usually get. Yes, God gave us his one and only begotten Son, and we nailed him to a cross… we get it. We’re sorry. It’s not like we can take it back. Do we have to look at it twenty feet high every week? I want see the loving, crowd-surfing Jesus.

“Carson, I want to request some Jesus Christ because he totally rocks and I love his hair! WhoOOO!”

Can you tell I’m not Catholic?